THE BIG RETORT

Council Tax is a property-based charge with one bill for each household set by the various councils to help pay for local services such as refuse collection etc. A tax which not too many of us have an issue. And yet there was that little investigation by TheBigRetort ? Councils can be rather vague regarding the "discounts" and "exemptions" that are available to the homeowner. In fact, when it comes to working out how much council tax is due some offer a 25% discount, providing there is only one occupant. Paradoxically, if the same property is empty then the discount is reduced by 10% only - leaving the council to claim a whopping 90% tax....but on an empty property. The discount is offered on a 'furnished dwelling not used as a sole or main residence’ - a second home for example - and is curiously 'lower' when a property is empty. Why we haven't a clue... and TheBigRetort would have liked to have posed that question to that august body known as Lo...

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." An eloquent defence of tolerance, or a cosy assumption from people who don't have to face the consequences of what they defend? Had the Oxford Debating Society students known their onions they may have been surprised to learn that the saying attributed to French writer François-Marie Arouet de Voltaire was actually written by Stephen G Tallentyre, a pseudonym for (female) writer Evelyn Beatrice Hall. She added it to her 1906 biographical book The Friends of Voltaire. It was only intended to summarise Voltaire's attitude and were not words that he himself actually uttered. Renowned for his satirical wit, Voltaire, a millionaire at forty, did not occupy the moral high ground - and even if he had uttered 'his' famous expression he would not have extended it to all. It was Voltaire's (erroneously based) free speech ideals that led to the Oxford Union Debating Society...

Military ‘rebels’ who seized a luxury hotel in the Philippines capital have agreed to surrender, for the safety of the hostages. "We're going out ... because we cannot live with our conscience if some of you get hurt in the crossfire," Antonio Trillanes, a Navy Lieutenant informed them. About 200 civilians (many journalists) were trapped inside the Peninsula Hotel in Manila when the rebels, calling for the overthrow of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, took control of the building which is ringed by troops. Guest inside were said to be 'calm'.

THERE IS A VERY OLD SAYING THAT 'HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF TIME AND TIME AGAIN'. RECENTLY TWO COMPUTER DISCS CONTAINING THE PERSONAL INFORMATION OF 26 MILLION PEOPLE DISAPPEARED.... IN THE POST. BUT HASN'T IT ALL HAPPENED BEFORE? THEBIGRETORT REVEALS ... Some years back, an investigation was conducted by two undercover reporters working for Punch Magazine - Pete Sawyer and Jon Paul Morgan . The pair of sleuths presented a groundbreaking piece of journalism, following months of painstaking research, that was featured on Channel 4 News - as the lead item - and copied in newspapers and magazines the length and breadth of Britain. Reproduced here (with the kind permission of Punch Magazine) is what the pair uncovered... THE REPORTERS SIFTING THROUGH MOUNTAINS OF PERSONAL BANK INFORMATION LEFT OUT ON THE STREETS. [Sawyer pictured left, Morgan right.]. THE TITLE SAID IT ALL... 'Doing undercover work at night, can make you stick out like a sore thumb. Pete and I used to dress ...

Could Mankind be the only technologically advanced society in the Cosmos? D. Bruce Merrifield, writing in Integrated Patterns of Civilization, seems to think so. Apparently it is due to surges in greenhouse gases, which coincide with periods of global warming, that we may occupy a unique place in the Cosmos... alone. Merrifield's report, published in American Thinker (November 2007), claims that it is only during the last 5,000 years weather conditions have allowed an advanced civilisation to emerge on planet Earth. Samples taken from ice cores in the Antarctic Ice Cap and the Sargasso Sea record that a unique set of circumstances led towards our present civilisation. Global warming has been periodically recurring for many hundreds of thousands of years Mankind has evolved by periodic 100,000-year great ice age-ending warming periods, each coincident with enormous surges of carbon dioxide and methane from the oceans. These surges, lasting about 15,000 to 25,000 years, are far grea...

Is service-provider London Councils really running a range of services designed to make life better for 'all'? In a previous article we tried to test this claim by posing a question: how many councils know the law. Unfortunately, instead of an answer we were given the old heave-ho. [Blame the press office... 'freelancers' are apparently amoeba.] Be that as it surely may… TheBigRetort was intrigued to find a press release - posted by London Councils on the Internet under its then guise the "ALG". It boasted of inconsiderate motorists who were to face fines for blocking people's driveways in London. So, a simple question, well answered. Albeit many years ago. Really...? The problem is that it was posted back in 2003... before our undercover investigation began. [See London Councils: Just the ticket .] So why then does this 'four year old' press release have the same reference number (83/03) as another press release dated three days later? [Head...

THE NEXT TIME YOU TAKE THE TUBE... MIND THE MAP . The London underground 'map' was created by graphic designer Henry C Beck (pictured below) in 1933. 'Harry' Beck, as he was known, was an engineering draughtsman at the London Underground Signals Office. Less map more diagram, sheer simplicity is what makes the 'map' so user-friendly. He constructed the diagram in his spare time. Harry had the idea of creating a full system map in colour. He believed passengers riding the trains weren't too bothered about the geographical accuracy - this was way before the Congestion Charge - but were more interested in how to get from one station to another and where to change. The idea has since been emulated around the world. Harry continued to update his Tube map on a freelance basis. [The Victoria Line was added by someone else and many additional changes were also introduced, without Harry's approval.] Harry struggled furiously to regain control of his map down the...

THE CURIOUS CASE OF DR DAVID KELLY AND WHY HE WROTE THAT WILL... Researchers never seem to mention it but the dead scientist's will, proved at the District Probate Registry at Winchester, not only states a time of death but when the will was written - the 26th November 1998. Fresh from his frequent trips to Iraq, which ended - also coincidentally - in 1998, what was it that convinced the scientist that he needed a will at that point? Why did he not write a will during those dangerous times in Iraq, and in the unhappy times before he was 'found dead in the woods'? Was it the first time Dr Kelly had drawn one? If so it was rather late in the day. But then, so was his conversion to religion the following year. Was Dr Kelly following Baha'i law in writing it? It is a requirement of that particular faith that a will be done... But Kelly is said not to have joined the movement until 1999 - which is curious. Either he wrote the will before he joined the faith or joined the Ba...

IN A PREVIOUS ARTICLE THEBIGRETORT REVEALED THAT A 'NEW' LAW HAS BEEN INTRODUCED AGAINST SELFISH PARKING - BUT DO LONDON COUNCILS KNOW IT? Following on from our last expose many of you wrote in to tell us why you felt that you had been kept in the dark about a change in the law that came into force four years ago . It is now unlawful to block "any part of the footway or verge where it has been lowered to meet the level of the carriageway... for the purpose of assisting pedestrians to cross or assisting vehicles to enter or leave the road across the footway or verge.” In other words homeowners, frustrated by cars blocking their driveways, now have legal redress in the fight against selfish parking. The new law currently applies to London only. An owner can demand that a car is removed even if there is no vehicle being blocked. To enforce the restriction no traffic order or signs are required and - providing the owner has requested it - a penalty charge notice can be issued...

TheBigRetort has always found calls for the resignation of the Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police to be unwarranted. If heads should roll they should fall lower down the ranks. However, it was part of Sir Ian's statement to the press following calls for his resignation that pricked our ears. Sir Ian ended his statement, with the following - curious? - paragraph: "A report published this morning also revealed that none of the 17 members of the public on board the train recalled hearing officers shout "armed police" prior to killing Mr de Menezes, even though all eight police in the carriage claimed they had." The question is why the Commissioner needs us to know this.

TheBigRetort exposé reveals how the former movie star and MP for Hampstead and Highgate has displayed her boobs in the past... both of them. Glenda Jackson MP does not do flesh. Instead, as soon as she opened the door and we entered the room she turned her back and then waved imperiously towards two seats. It was after all her "surgery". [A misnomer if ever... the description lends itself to the medical profession Glenda.] I am here with the owner of a bar styled Brondes Age . A popular venue situated on the Kilburn High Road, as a result, with its ambiance and music, owner "Brian" had created one of the must check-out places in NW6. But small business landlord Spacia look set to demolish that dream. Brian desperately needed his MP's help. Enter Glenda Jackson - in the flesh - breathing heavily. I had strongly disagreed with her about Brian’s chances of success, because of this she appeared to get more than a little annoyed. "You WILL lose! You have NOT ...

In the world in which we live there is an argument that bullying can be a useful tool. Kelvin Mackenzie, the former newspaper editor and blowtorch of reasoned debate, claims that forceful motivation – renamed in this liberal age - is an absolute must. Kelvin bullies his employees, but only if they are at a certain level - bullying across the board and not unproductive and demotivating bullying down. According to Kelvin – and he is presumably not alone in this - bullying is what keeps us ahead of the global productivity game, without it we will whither on the global vine. But do bullies exist purely in the playground and boardroom, or can they be found in other strands of our society? And are we, as Kelvin MacKenzie may claim, simply mistaking forceful motivation for bullying? The answer must surely be No... With our current obsession with such shows as The Apprentice, Big Brother, X Factor, Hell’s Kitchen… we are in fact officially a bully nation Take Dragons’ Den… The show originated ...

The Metropolitan Police has been found guilty of breaching health and safety laws over the fatal shooting of Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes. Mr de Menezes was shot seven times by officers at Stockwell Tube station. He was mistaken for failed suicide bomber Hussain Osman. The jury convicted the force on the second day of its deliberations. It was fined £175,000 in addition to £385,000 costs by trial judge Mr Justice Henriques. Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair was in court to hear the verdict. The jury cleared the operation commander Cressida Dick attaching, ‘no personal culpability’. The family of Jean Charles de Menezes pledged that they would not rest in their fight for justice and said they were awaiting a "full and thorough" inquest.

PRIOR to and during her tempestuous relationship Heather Mills-McCartney (seen in the photo left with Sir Paul) often danced with the devil - usually in the form of a journalist. But as they danced the lady should have noticed that her partner had a camera in one hand and a pen and paper in the other. Because there is always a 'copy' to file… which is why you can never completely trust Satan. Now Lady Maccabeth claims there is a hate campaign being waged against her by the tabloids. True… few people like or trust her. Her outburst on GMTV yesterday drew further criticism from detractors who claim to have witnessed grief... but through a veil of 'crocodile tears'. [For further postings on crocodile tears see “Soham: Insincere grief”.] It is certainly true that the mocking of the loss of one of her limbs ranks amongst the vilest media baiting in print... Remember here is a very attractive woman who - against all the odds - fought back from a horrifying and debilitating in...

Set dressers on the new Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie returning after a weekend off received a bit of a shock... the Nazis had disappeared from Berlin. Valkyrie is centered around the attempted assassination of Adolph Hitler, with Cruise in the role of Claus von Stauffenberg, later executed for attempting to kill the Fuhrer with two suitcase bombs in 1944. [We're not giving anything away as this is based on a real events. Hitler dies in the end, and the 1000-year Reich perished after just 12 years.) An insider informed the beleaguered set dressers that the images of the Third Reich had not been stolen but were ordered down 'by some one on high'. Apparently a wedding reception had taken place over the weekend in a hotel opposite the set. Searching for a bit of lebensraum the bride and groom accompanied by their entourage (all Jews) ambled out on to the terrace to take in all the sights Berlin had to offer. Nein! Nein! Nein! Greeted by their worst nightmare they fled back inside...

TheBigRetort strange but true series continues with a chilling tale of child abduction. It also reads as a bizarre prequel to the mysterious disappearance of Madeleine McCann, and reveals a father's startling sixth sense. Not too long ago, somewhere in the UK, a schoolchild inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth. As in the Algarve case, the girl disappeared mysteriously, without trace, leaving police and public totally perplexed. However, fortunately, this did not turn out to be a smoke-and-mirrors investigation -or a whodunit leading nowhere - because there was a single witness. Police say that's all it takes. A man out walking his dog recalled seeing a white van going up and down a lane. He told police that it was constantly retracing its steps, almost as if the driver was searching for something. Or should that be someone? Police did not have much to go on but they realised that they may have a potential serious child abduction on their hands. Unlike police in the...

A NEW LAW WHICH HAS LAIN UNDISCOVERED FOR YEARS CAN NOW BE USED AS THE LATEST TOOL IN THE FIGHT AGAINST SELFISH PARKING... thanks to TheBigRetort . Many London drivers may not realise it but since September 2004 the London Local Authorities and Transport for London Act has enabled local authorities to issue Penalty Charge Notices (PCNs) to cars parked unlawfully across driveways. TheBigRetort calls it SimplySelfishParking. And yes, as Bill said to Monica, it's a mouthful... But the new law looks set to bring much-needed respite to beleaguered driveway 'barons'. London based councils' also look set to expand their coffers by £££s with dropped kerb penalties (DKPs) as part of their stealth-tax portfolio$. Be that as it may, when TheBigRetort found its driveway blocked, we quoted the law to the law - and those boys in blue serge didn't even realise it existed. In fact, when TheBigRetort initially reported a naughty parker (NP) to the Yard an armed response unit fai...

WHEN A DOCTOR PRESCRIBED A CHOLESTORAL-LOWERING WONDERDRUG UNUSUAL MUSCLE STIFFNESS FOLLOWED... BE WARNED . “Don't suppose we can put you down as Asian can we," he asked, pen hovering over medical report. The doctor had a little box to tick... Statins damage Asians more than any other ethnic group. Fortunately, as a compilation of African-Cherokee-American-Irish-Welsh - and Englishman - TheBigRetort investigator did not have to fill in a box marked "mongrel". (He prefers "hybrid".) “Only... there isn't a box for someone with your, err, ethnicity. Asians… well…they can only take half the dosage. I suppose it’s alright, isn’t it… ?” He was certainly convinced of our reporter's "ethnicity". 'I'll just put Asian shall I," the doctor ended Shipman-like. "Err... Can I phone a friend?" was the only response to that. Chronic aches and pains followed. Accompanied by numbness, weakness, confusion, fatigue, shortness of breath...

“We find that whole communities suddenly fix their minds upon one object, and go mad in its pursuit; that millions of people become simultaneously impressed with one delusion and run after it, till their attention is caught by some new folly more captivating than the first.” In reading the history of nations these words of Charles Mackay, a former Victorian editor, were a preface to the 1852 edition of his book, EXTRAORDINARY POPULAR DELUSIONS AND THE MADNESS OF CROWDS Amazingly written as far back as 1841, it revealed how easily the masses follow ‘moral epidemics’ and how ‘imitative and gregarious men’ truly are; the Crusades (1096–1291), Tulip Mania (1636–37), Witch Mania (1668-1676), the Mississippi Scheme (1717), the South-Sea Bubble (1720) - Scotsman Mackay concluded - were all delusions . In fact Mackay’s “Extraordinary Delusions” might have become yet another weighty tome gathering dust on a shelf at the British Library, until we started turning its pages. The book is a clarion ...

EXT PARIS HOTEL… Just past midnight, a grainy image captured on a security camera reveals Henri Paul, hotel security officer: He signals towards two men waiting on a scooter... later identified as paparazzi Around the front of the hotel, other "ratz" (surely) and onlookers wait expectantly; not realising that around the back of the hotel a conspiracy is underway; Henri has been paid to tip someone off. Million-franc shot with killer headlines: "PRINCESS AND PLAYBOY RUN RITZ RATZ" But the photo-first does not go to plan… and the headline becomes somewhat different. The photograph of the backs of two heads do not make scandalous viewing, nor the shot of a bodyguard… and smiling accomplice “Henri”. EXT PARIS STREET… the Ratz pursue the Mercedes. Driver Henri is not affected by a couple of drinks. But then… his master in back is screaming faster! and the two Ratz (who will pay handsomely) are screaming slower! Henri should follow his master’s command… Only there's d...